Monday was movie night at Rulerofowl’s castle, where he and Highbrowl watched “The Purge: Election Day” and after the movie they ponder the same things you may be questioning as well: Why? How was it?
- H: Well, I hope you’re happy; there were dozens of horror movies we could have seen from Netflix: Cargo, The Ritual, The Ring, Don’t Breathe, The Witch, Ouija Origin of Evil, Rosemary’s Baby, and The Shining. There were even some “bad” horror movies that would be fun to watch like The Babysitter, Sharknado, Rings; but we just had to watch the boring Purge movie!
- ROW: Oh, come on the last two Purge movies were not that bad, and I thought the premise of this one was timely and had potential to be good; in a campy way!
- H: Okay, the first one had an interesting concept and tried to be subtle and nuanced with its metaphors and allegories—but failed; the second one was owl shit and this one is, somehow, even worse. This is not a “have a couple of drinks and enjoy the campiness” sort of movie, unless you have two barrels of beer and you pass out midway through it!
- ROW: I’m not defending the movie—it was terrible. I’m just defending my reasoning behind picking this movie! Besides, at least the actors had a bit of fun making it and for a few scenes I had a bit of fun as well!
- H: You’re talking about the Minister?
- ROW: Yeah, the actor’s name is Kyle Secor—I just Googled him. That dude had some fun shooting the church scene, alongside Harmon James! Now, that’s the kind of campy acting and film-making I’m here to see!
- H: It’s a shame that those two actors were the only ones in it for that; everyone else was either a saint or a lunatic. It’s one of those movies were the good guys are wholesomely good and the bad guys are terrible and insane; I just wished the insane were more fun.
- ROW: Well, I think everyone was sleepwalking their way through this movie; Elizabeth Mitchell, Frank Grillo from the second Purge movie, everyone really dropped the ball and just showed up on set, said their lines and left.
- H: Yeah, but I don’t really care about them; I’m here for over-acting insanity with dumb plastic masks! That’s the aspect I absolutely felt was the worse; most of the masked “villains” weren’t insane or menacing in any way!
- ROW: It’s such a shame, because they actually have the perfect plot for that type of “horror” to play out and they completely misuse it! Think about it: The presidential candidate, who threatens to stop the Purge night, is chased through the city during the Purge to be killed. You could think of anything and write it into that scenario: Someone dressed as a maid putting bloody body parts in a washing machine, murmuring to their selves about how they need to be cleaned. You could write that in, but instead it’s freaking uninspired bunny suits and American presidents etc.
- H: The funny thing is they actually wrote in the perfect excuse for weird shit like that, but do not use it! The “Purge-tourists”!
- ROW: Oh, that’s right! The Russians that are in the movie for two minutes and are made to seem like they are going to matter, but attack the leads and immediately die!
- H: Yeah! What if they were more meaningful?! What if they were from a variety of cultures and brought along their own imagery?! Like Greek tourists, dressed like Leonidas and killing people with swords and shit?!
- ROW: That would be cool! But I think that is asking too much; I think this is one of the few movies I HAD to adjust my TV’s settings in order to see it, because every window during the day was like a light projector in a football match. Clearly, not a lot of effort was put into making this movie!
- H: So, I’m guessing you don’t want to discuss the socio-political aspects of this movie?
- ROW: Howly shit, it was terrible! They literally announce their allegories through megaphones, TV sets, and characters literally going “The Purge is for the government to kill all of the poor so they don’t have to care for them anymore”! Fuck, it was awful!
- H: Yeah, well next time I’m picking the movie and we won’t even need to get drunk to go through it!
- ROW: Sure, but I’ll bring a couple of beer barrels, just to be safe!
Ruler of Owls 